I Don’t Believe In Puberty

Well, I believe in it as the title for a period of time during which a child becomes an adult human being. I don’t believe in it as an excuse, as a way to blame something when we parents feel guilty or helpless.

Perhaps puberty is a crisis. But it is our crisis, not the crisis of our children. They grow, and that’s natural. They learn, and that’s natural. They try to exercise their will, and that’s natural. They make a lot of mistakes along the way, and that’s natural. They need a change, and that’s natural. There is nothing crisis-like in that.

It’s us who don’t want that change. We got used to certain ways how our lives operated. We know how to command, how to expect obedience, how to be always right, how to blame. We want children. We don’t want adults that don’t want to be commanded, that do not obey, that question our infallibility, that don’t want to be blamed. It is our crisis.

We cannot avoid the change. But we can avoid the pain that comes from resisting that change.